Reflection, let's pour our hearts out one last time 2026-04-30 Author: Xinglu Cangqiong
I've found a real job, and I'll be starting work in May.
When this book first began, it truly carried a lot of hopes and ambitions. I tried many things, but even more of them ended up being impossible to rein back in.
I sat and thought about it for a long time again today.
I feel truly sorry that I wasn't able to live up to the expectations of quite a few readers.
I'm an author who loves trying new things, always eager to experiment with styles I've been wanting to test... but it's genuinely easy to overestimate one's own abilities.
There are certain things that you only realize you simply don't know how to write after you've already started writing them.
Yet once they're already written, the more you write, the more you feel like you're being roasted over an open fire. Continuing to write feels awkward, but stopping... well, wouldn't that be completely lacking in professional ethics?
In truth, after a certain point, I knew that I was gradually becoming unable to handle it anymore.
Sigh.
Repeating apologies over and over just feels disheartening. Now that the dust has settled, what's the point of chewing over it repeatedly?
It's just that after finishing this book, a sense of confusion inevitably lingers in my heart.
Should I continue trying new things, or should I stay safely in my comfort zone from now on... only writing what I'm good at and what I've written before?
If I try new things, who knows, I might mess up again and churn out something that isn't very good to read.
......
I'm really heading off to work next month. Even though I plan to continue juggling the career of writing novels part-time once my job stabilizes, I have no idea when I'll actually pick up my old trade again.
To the readers who have followed my novel all the way to this point, I truly consider you my friends.
Even if, after finishing the ending, those feelings turn into something like "love so deep it breeds resentment," I'll accept it.
That's why I wanted to chat a bit more.
Otherwise, I could just brush my sleeves and leave, clapping my hands and walking away after finishing the volume's afterword to enjoy my final ten days of vacation, wanting nothing more to do with anything, let alone facing this typing software.
In truth, my rest time has been truly scarce.
Ever since my last book finished a two-year serialization, I started this one with less than a month of rest.
I really overestimated myself, in every aspect.
At the very beginning, inspiration was truly abundant, but as I kept writing, I found that my output far outstripped my input... I had too little rest, and the preparations I made were simply far from sufficient.
When I started the book, I kept thinking about rushing it, rushing it. I hadn't thought things through thoroughly enough, which instead made things more and more bumpy and difficult further down the line.
Indeed, it's better to just go work a regular job for a solid period of time first.
Writing novels without enough settling time and accumulation will only make the writing process increasingly agonizing and uncomfortable.
Moreover, having a stable alternative income after getting a job will make my mindset when writing much more level-headed. When writing novels is your sole source of income, it's genuinely easy to write with an unstable state of mind.
I also feel that mindset is truly the number one priority.
When your mindset is good, no matter what you're writing, you have passion, and the readers can feel that passion as well.
Words are vessels for conveying emotion, and readers should be able to pick up on the author's emotional state. Once my own state of mind is poor, it easily transmits that exact same feeling to the readers.
Let's briefly talk about the next book.
I don't plan on trying new things anymore. It's better to just write something within my comfort zone. After all, if I keep trying new things, I can't guarantee that what I write will actually be good to read.
Experimentation is always difficult.
The new isn't necessarily better, and classics are classics for a reason.
Blindly trying random things and writing haphazardly with every single book might genuinely end up turning me into a messy author who can't write anything well.
This earnest review and reflection have at least laid down two directions for my next book:
[I will definitely not write it too long; it will end at just a little over one million words.]
[I will definitely write within my comfort zone, focusing on what I am best at writing, without trying too many new things.]
I am truly, earnestly reflecting on my shortcomings.
In any case, thank you all for being willing to read my book. (End of Chapter)